Two of these Jim Riggleman quotes are real, and one was made up by the Onion. Can you tell which is which? A: "I'm astonished to tell you the truth when I look up and I see [Jose] Vidro's average is what it is, because I feel like every time he goes up there I'm very confident that he's going to give us a good at-bat...And for the at-bats that he has, he's knocked in......

Red Sox Nation has left Seattle, taking with it their brand new hats and cheers of "Manny, I fawkin' love you, now hit a homah' you fawkin' queeah [Throws up on self. Passes out.]." And that was Doris Kearns Goodwin. Hate them or really hate them, they are on top of the sports world and enjoying every minute of it. However, what is it like when Mariner Nation invades some poor sucker's home field? Seattlest......

The cost of fielding a perennially bad team may finally start hitting the Mariners in the bank account next season. The P-I is reporting that the M's will move to KIRO-AM next year in a $5.5 million per year deal for three seasons. This season, at KOMO-AM, the M's are earning $10 million in radio revenue. The huge reduction in radio revenue can be attributed to lower ratings, due to the team's poor performance as......

Seattle SuperSonics 1967-2008.......

The justice system may buckle in Oklahoma City’s favor this afternoon with results of the Sonics trial set to be announced at 4 p.m., but the wrath of God is clearly on Seattle’s side. Former owner Howard Schultz—the vindictive baby who sold to an ownership group intent on immediate relocation after being denied a taxpayer handout—is already feeling the sting of what is sure to be the first in a long line of curses......

A few weeks ago, we watched the first half of the Champions League Final at Pyramid. Each shot or diving save was met with indifference by the lunch crowd—we quickly found the game slow and boring. For the second half we moved to the Owl and Thistle and wedged our way into a seat around those in jerseys and scarves. Their oohs, awws, and referee death threats made for a much more exciting second half.......

The way Bonnie Hunt tells it, the movie Dave started as a short film with her in the role of a White House tour guide. Then Kevin Kline dropped by the set, started riffing, and the whole project changed. That's how we feel about Seattlest Alumnest Seth, who took a story about our pre-pubescent missed chance with Janine Turner, and spun it into a very funny piece on the Safeco Field singles scene. it was......

First, hitting coach Jeff Pentland was fired, then General Manager Bill Bavasi was shown the door, and yesterday it was John McLaren's turn to up the state's unemployment rate. All casualties of the worst record in baseball. Since Lou Piniella got frustrated with the front office and left following the 2002 season, President Chuck Armstrong and CEO Howard Lincoln have hired a series of "yes men" which they could control. This is what they get.......

The Seattle Times is reporting that Mariner Manager John McLaren has been fired and replaced with bench coach Jim Riggleman. McLaren was named manager following Mike Hargrove's resignation last July. Riggleman becomes the fourth manager since Lou Piniella left after the 2002 season. Richie Sexson still has a job.......

Last night the clouds parted and for a moment the sun shone down on Seattle as Ken Griffey Jr. became the sixth player in baseball history to hit home run number 600. The historic home run came off of Mt. Vernon's Mark Hendrickson, who as a Northwesterner of a certain age, grew up idolizing and cheering Junior on from the Kingdome bleachers (unless he spent his formative years writing love letters to the Taliban......

As our friend pointed out, between the weather, the Mariners, and The Love Guru, 2008 could go down as the worst summer in history. The Seattle Times took a big poop-poop all over everyone's lives by reporting that the cooler than normal temperatures could be with us through July. We understand that not all of you prefer blue skies and warm temperature, so enjoy this, it's your time. As for the rest of us,......

Safeco Field is a family park. Lesbian kissing, "Yankees Suck" shirts, and winning streaks are all frowned upon. Two smooching ladies found out the hard way last week when security asked them to stop kissing after someone complained. The increasingly demoralized Mariners fanbase isn’t exactly killing itself to buy into the Death Spiral that is the seventh straight year without a post-season appearance. Maybe singling out gay fans doesn't seem to be the greatest......

The Euro Cup starts this weekend-- it's just like the World Cup except there is more overt racism, and the fans have free health care. All of the games will be shown at the George and Dragon, Café Presse, and in your living room via the ESPN family of networks. The Kangaroo and Kiwi will open at 11am to show the late morning game live, and then they will show a replay of the early......

"We're playing our (BODY PART) off every day and got nothing to show for it. I'm tired of (VERB ENDING IN -ING) losing, I'm tired of getting my (NOUN) beat, and so have those guys. We gotta change this (NOUN) around and get after it. And only we can do it. The fans are (ADJECTIVE) off, and I'm (ADJECTIVE) off and the players are (ADJECTIVE FOR USELESS) off. And that's the way it is...I'm tired......

After yet another Mariners loss—and the final game of a three-game sweep by the Angels—manager John McLaren finally had a bit of a meltdown in his news conference yesterday: We're playing our (bleep) off every day and got nothing to show for it. I'm tired of (bleeping) losing, I'm tired of getting my (bleep) beat, and so have those guys. We gotta change this (bleeping bleep) around and get after it. And only we......

Our Boston siblings brought our attention to yet another oddity in the Seattle Sonics saga. From our own paper, mind you: "For months, a Boston-area woman thought she was dating a Sonics front-office employee and former NBA player named Jeff Turner, a handsome, 6-foot-8 40-something who was polite, compassionate and respectful." But, of course, it was a flim flam and the aptly named Ronnie Craven was revealed to be neither Jeff Turner nor a......

With news that long time Seattle Art Museum director Mimi Gates is retiring next year, we are hoping that the Mariners will fire current General Manager Bill Bavasi and hire Gates as his replacement. SAM Under Mimi Gates: Greatly renovated and expanded the downtown museum. Opened the Olympic Sculpture Park. Oversaw the acquisition of over one billion dollars in donated art. Bill Bavasi's Mariner Resume: Turned a team averaging 98 wins (2000-2003) into a......

Hey there, lovely readers. We're taking a break from our usual Monday morning posting to make a little public service announcement. The time has come for Seattlest to add a couple of writers to our staff, and we're hoping you can spread the word for us. While "generalists" are fun and splendid, we're looking for someone who's turned on by sports and news from the tech world. If both those things float your boat,......

Brazil vs. Canada at Qwest Field Soccer Comes to Seattle: Seattlest was lucky enough, to catch the international friendly between Brazil and Canada at Qwest Field Saturday evening. Seeing an explosive game between well-matched teams, from some truly great seats, got us even more excited for the inaugural season of the Seattle Sounders FC. We hope the Sounders inspire a dedicated drum section like the Brazil team brought along. We don't know if we've ever......

The Mariners won again last night by the skin of their teeth, shocking a Boston "Nation" whose presence has been hard to ignore throughout the series. The lowly Mariners are inconveniently getting in the way of a mighty "Nation" that strolled into the Emerald City expecting a sweep, and is now left licking its wounds after losing two straight to one of the most embarrassing teams in recent memory. It’s hard to know what......

You can read about last night's Mariners win in Kim's post from earlier, but the highlight was Jose Lopez's single in the bottom half of the 9th to drive in Balentien and end the team's seven-game losing streak. And then the people rejoiced. Well, maybe half of them. If you've ever been to a Red Sox game at Safeco Field, you know how strong of a fan presence they bring into a road game.......

This Seattlest is not the most baseball-crazed tool in the shed, but we had a damn good time at last night's Mariners vs. Red Sox game. It started out with the Mariners up by three, until Manny Ramirez clocked a homer for the Sox and evened out the scoreboard. The tie held fast for the last few innings until Jose Lopez's nailbiting hit straight toward third base—at the bottom of the ninth—drove the winning......

NOT THE YANKEES: The Mariners, bless their hearts for trying, will take on the Red Sox tonight at Safeco Field. We weren't impressed with the one game we already saw this year, but we're willing to cheer on the home team tonight as they take on that East Coast team that's not the Yankees. 7:10 p.m. // Safeco Field // $7-73 BIG, BIG VOICE: British singer/songwriter Adele will be gracing the stage at the Triple......

Not only does Detroit's last place baseball team sweep other last place teams (ours), they also have teams that make the postseason. On Saturday night the Motor City will host two playoffs games. The Red Wings will play the Penguins at 7pm in the Stanley Cup, and the Pistons will play the Celtics in the NBA's Eastern Conference Finals half an hour later The city of Seattle has been home to two playoff games......

TEENY BOPPER EXPRESS: Disney's High School Musical opens at the Paramount tonight, so maybe steer clear of the teenagers downtown. If you have your own teenager, maybe it's a good night to set them free with their friends so they can go sing along and goo-goo-ga-ga over the cute boys and dreaminess of this sensational teenfest. 7:30 p.m. // Paramount Theater // $20-67 plus fees WOMEN'S BASKETBALL: Seattlest made it to the Seattle Storm's opening......

Looking for a way to get out and enjoy some beer with the nice weather this weekend? You've probably got it all figured out, but here are a few ideas anyways: University District Street Fair - Saturday and Sunday from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. (6 p.m. Sunday). Nearly 400 craft and food tents to browse, plus live music and other events. The Big Time Brewery beer tent will be the place to be......

Should we be worried the Mariners are baseball’s equivalent of the Bush Administration? Fiscally undisciplined with negligible positive returns? Check. Marketed as veteran leadership despite any veterans with leadership experience? Check. Sloppy management reinforced with sloppy execution on the ground? Check. Let’s put it this way: if the 2008 Mariners team photo involves a pyramid and prominently featured genitalia, then we’re calling for a Congressional investigation. In all seriousness, the Mariners are playing sloppy,......

This year’s Kentucky Derby will be marked more by the tragedy of Eight Belles than the dominance of Big Brown. But no matter what you think of the race itself, good times were had down at local racetrack Emerald Downs this weekend. What happened to Eight Belles is awful; no one can argue that. For those not aware, the 2nd place horse suffered two broken ankles immediately after the race finished and had to......

Thanks to a Steve Inskeep aside this morning, Seattlest was reminded that "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" turned 100 in 2008. If our short-term memory serves, Mr. NPR said the song was first sung a century ago today. The Mariners open a series against your favorite team to hate tonight, in their soon-to-be-history stadium, so no seventh-inning Safeco Liberty Mutual stretch for local fans. But, hey, have a beer and sing it......

Seth Kolloen starting covering sports for Seattlest in January 2005. Late last year he took over as editor, before leaving us to become the editor of the brand new Sports Northwest Magazine. We caught up with Seth poolside at the W Hotel to discuss the move to press row, his sports blog, and why he won’t be calling Maggie Gyllenhaal any time soon. How did you get involved with the new magazine? In one sense,......