May 14, 2007
Jessica, you are part of the problem!
Seattlest took a little trip to the Oregon coast recently. We experienced two opposing points of the coastal experience within several miles of each other. True to its name, the city of Seaside is the archetypal slutty seaside town replete with an arcade, candy stores, cheesy tourist shops, and snooty beach-fronting hotels that will be the first to go when the tsunami hits. One would think that this is the place one would find litter on the beach. Not true, Strawman! Seaside's beach was as free of junk as the coffee at Pig 'N Pancake was free of flavor.
Cannon Beach, on the other hand, is a quiet, uppity enclave. Unlike Seaside --in which 101 passes right through town and is lined with Safeway, Rite-Aid, radiator shops, and greasy, off-the-drag, burger joints and bars where only locals eat-- Cannon Beach eschews 101. Here, the highway is lined with trees and views of mountains and the sea. You must get off the highway to see that a town exists. Its downtown features more upscale and uniform architecture that tries to be quaint. While charming, it can be a tad boring. Moreover, sometimes it can be a bit overdone and tend to feel forced.
Nowhere can this be illustrated better than to compare to the two towns' Pig 'N Pancakes. In Seaside, the PnP is on the main drag; it is a diner through-and-through. If your mother smokes cigars and whacks you on the back of your skull for being insolent, you take her to this PnP. If, on the other hand, your mother shops at Coldwater Creek and has croched door-knob cozzies in her home, you take her to the PnP in Cannon Beach. The PnP here is up the main street a bit and strives to emulate that barn-like Americana style.
In short, Seaside broadcasts cold, tacky density run amok. It is the natural outcome of the great march of progress that old Meriwether and William brought with them from the East Coast to this end of their journey. Conversely, Cannon Beach consoles you with warmth, shelter, and safety --like death.
So what does the geography of the Oregon coast have to do with Jessica? Well, all we are saying is that we just wouldn't expect trash on the upscale Cannon Beach coast.
Unfortunately, though, Jessica was here. She picked up her non-fat, latte (we're guessing on the NVL... though we can't extrapolate the V) and headed out to the beach to admire Haystack Rock. When finished, she didn't feel like hauling her cup allllll the waaaaaay back to a proper trash bin. Instead, she set it down behind a log up on the berm at the back of the beach. Nice try, Jessica, but your machinations did not fool us. We discovered your treachery when scouting a spot to lie down for a bit.
Readers, don't be a Jessica NVL! This makes latte sippers and other Jessicas look bad. It is bad for the environment (won't someone please think of the sand dollars!). Haul out your trash. And if you do spot some trash, consider throwing it out and being part of the solution.
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Seaside truly is the armpit of the Oregon coast. When I was in high school, we were always warned against it as a spring break destination because of the omnipresent fear of street gangs.
V is for vanilla...
L is for litter
V=Vanilla
NVL- Nonfat Vanilla Latte, the most ubiquitous drink ordered when I was a barista at one of the many fine coffee establishments in Seattle. We took to calling it "the sorority girl latte."
NVL- Nonfat Vanilla Latte, I love those things.
Tillamook is more of an armpit than Seaside is.
But quoted for truth on the flavorlessness of Pig N' Pancake.
For non-armpit Oregon coast goodness, keep going south to Yachats (pronounced Ya-hots). And check out On The Rise bakery. It's a tiny town that most people would drive right through, and that's what makes it so wonderful. That, and Tillicum beach campground. Which has bunnies, and probably not Jessica.
I think I understand the poorly written article by Seattlest (Jessica, you are the Problem) that attempted to embarrass a certain Jessica for leaving her latte cup on the shore at Cannon Beach. Let me repeat that I "think" I understand the author's intent: we should be environmentally conscious and place our litter in the trash bins when we're out and about. However, slamming Seaside in the process was completely inappropriate and as a Seasider (albeit a fairly new one), I'm offended at the writer's derogatory descriptions. I'm not about to make comparisons with Cannon Beach in defense of Seaside. Seaside has its own unique qualities that bring tens of thousands of tourists throughout the year so my defense is unnecessary. You mentioned "greasy burger joints along 101. Had you stopped in at Herbs Beer and Burgers, you would have discovered that their burgers are to die for. Try the Swiss cheese and mushrooms the next time you're down this way. As for the Pig and Pancake being a diner "through and through"... what is your point? Do you have something against a diner? If a diner serves good food at great prices, what exactly is your issue? I've been in restaurants with great ambience and never returned for the simple reasons that the food was poorly prepared and the service practically non-existent. This is not the case with the Pig and the Pancake at Seaside. One has only to witness the line-ups on a weekend morning outside the restaurant to see the truth of my claims.
It comes to mind that if you live in a glass house, you shouldn't be throwing stones, Seattlest. And next time, try and focus on the subject matter (which was NOT Seaside). Enough said?
Hi Wayne,
It's too bad that you read my comments as a slam on Seaside --and diners. The truth is far from it, actually. I love Seaside in much the same way I love other very-touristy seaside towns like, for example, Ocean Shores here in Washington. While I certainly enjoy the quiet and solitude of more secluded coastlines, I also adore the excess of built-up coastal towns. I think both serve an important function and both have their charms. You must admit, though, that towns like Seaside tend toward the overdone and spectacular, which is why, I think, many criticize them. That's what I love about them; they are unapologetically excessive. They are very Americana.
Additionally, I love both diners and greasy food joints. I'm originally from Chicago, where "greasy" is an adjective of affection and admiration. Although I thoroughly enjoyed the ambience and food at the Pig 'N Pancake, their coffee was deplorably substandard, I'm afraid. I did notice Herb's, too, although I did not have time to eat there. However, it is certainly on my list for my next trip down.
In short, no stones thrown, friend, just friendly ribbing.
Cheers,
/tom
I think Wayne was on the right track. A ribbing or not, Seaside still got an undeserved poke in the eye. When in Seaside I suggest venturing off of Broadway and escaping 101. I'm relatively new to the area and have found many a sanctuary in town that has nothing to do with the tourism of the high street.
Next time you're looking to take a stab at a town's atmosphere in the name of conservation, pick somewhere else.
I know the owners of the Pig n Pancake (THE place my grandchildren INSIST they need to go whenever they come down) and I'm POSITIVE that if you had told them about your coffee, they would immediately gotten you a fresh cup. My DH was and is a street "cop" in both towns you mentioned and he does love his coffee...it was always at one of the P&P's. I was a bit hurt at the tone you took in order to write a "witty" article...Many people live here year round and are very proud of both Seaside AND Cannon Beach for their uniqueness and hopefully welcoming atmosphere. Please stay a little longer next time and see what I mean. Thanks Wayne for drawing attention to this article.
Ps. I must bring attention to the fact that Tom did report that our beach was nice and clean. Of course, part of that is the MANY garbage cans we have all over town and up and down the Prom but also because the SOLV people organize clean up days I think twice a year at least to clean up the beach. A lot of locals try to pick up as they walk about, too. So I almost lost the positive thing you said in all the negative. Sorry about that.
Are you kidding?
Tom? What's the deal here? Why would you say such off the wall things about seaside? I know it has it's problems, what town doesn't, but come on...We rely on non-bias reporting and factual writings to help our city survive day in and day out. Do you realize that most of the businesses in this area, such as the P&P, make most of its money in 4 months for the tourist season and with an article like this, filed with opinion and no facts...You are effecting employees, business owners, their families and many more people.
We love this town and all is quirks, thats what makes us who we are. You say you love this kinda town, you say we've read you wrong? How could anyone read anything else from this unless they were on drugs. I'm a strong supporter of freedom of speech, but get real...This was nothing more than a slam, and from my years of public relations I can see from your writings above that you have been scorned by this city..And the personal attack on Pig-N-Pan suggests something took place here. So if you ever have a problem at this particular restaurant, I would suggest you ask for the owner to speak to you about your issues, then perhaps a councilor....
This is one of the oldest settlements on the Oregon coast, so I doubt highly that you'll start a riot with this letter, but you will effect the honest, hard working locals that call this place....HOME.....
You are from Seattle and you couldn't extrapolate what the V stood for?! I wonder how many wayward coffee cups we would find littering your neck of the woods. Maybe you should take your critical eye to REAL problems in the world like poverty, war, greed, hatred...better yet why not start with picking up litter in your own backyard to make the world a better place instead of crucifying the lazy Jessicas of the world. Yours Truly, A Seasider 5 years and counting.
What you wrote about the “slutty seaside town” was so unnecessary. I can tell you have no connection or history with the town and I find your comments very harsh about a town you know nothing about. To compare it with Cannon Beach is quite unfair and you ought to have seen CB before it was beautified within the last forty years. You should have seen Seaside during the late 60’s and 70’s after the Riots, which had been started by some Seattle-ites and it deteriorated because of bad press. The people of Seaside have worked so hard to restore it to the once again family and teenager friendly resort it has been for 100 years or more. Your comments about the Pig ‘n Pancake will not affect their good reputation, and if it’s not for you, it’s not. I agree with you about the horrible design of the Trendwest at the end of Broadway where the revered explorers came and left, and the Shilo replaced another old hotel, the Seasider, which stood for many years during storms and a few small Tsunamis. Having waded downtown in one in the 60’s after an earthquake elsewhere, the mainstays have done the best job of Tsunami proofing the city of Seaside for any future events than anyone on the Oregon and California coast. That’s all for the protection of residents, and tourists who love the place and for the “Ugly American Tourist” from Seattle. For your information most of the recent condos projects are being built by Seattle business people. Yes, Highway 101 needs fixing up and that’s too long of a story. I hope that if you ever decide to drop by again, you will give it a break and try hard to enjoy a walk on the Prom, the beach, wade in the ocean, see the view of Tillamook Head, a sunset, go to the Aquarium, and take it for what it is, and not what you wish it to be.
Thanks, everyone, for writing in!
Before misunderstanding any further, please read a more descriptive write-up here:
urbanarchives.org/wordpress/2007/06/25/yar-the-seaside-was-angry-that-day/