There's no such thing as a free ride. This week in speaking happenings is bursting with free-for-alls, but beware the "hidden costs" lurking beneath.

Wednesday, December 6
>>>DORKBOT, 7:30pm. We love the name, but saying that they plan to "discuss their innovative approach to immersive, participatory entertainment" doesn't hide the fact that this will be geeks talking about videogames. Free, but only if you know the secret code: 'Knock knock, who's there?' 'Um, dorks?' 'Come in!'

>>>Social Media Club, 6pm. Dear God, what's a dork to do? Go talk about social media in Seattle first, then hit Dorkbot after. The scheduling gods are in your favor, SeattleDorks. Free (registration required), but try not to talk about your blog the whole time.

Thursday, December 7
>>>UW Bookstore, 7pm. Author Bella DePaulo discusses and signs her book about the stigma of being single, Singled Out: How Singles are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After. She probably doesn't know about Dorkbot. Free, but that inferiority complex is gonna cost you eventually.

>>>Capitol Hill Arts Center, 6:30pm. We're not done with the dorks yet: Seattle geeks get two nights back-to-back thanks to Ignite Seattle. We love the dorks so much, Seattlest is even a sponsor. Factor in a bridge-building contest and talks by O'Reilly and Make peeps, and we're blissfully dorked out. Free, but...well, no buts about it, you should just go.

>>>The CD Forum, 7pm. The American Heritage Society will explore the increasingly confused titles of "Terrorist" and "Patriot" by considering Nat Turner and John Brown in the context of "their legacy of armed resistance in a post 9/11 world." This inspired piece of parallel thinking brought to you courtesy of UW's Comparative History program. $7, $5 for CD Forum members/students/seniors.

Friday, December 8
>>>Elliot Bay Books, 7:30pm. Charles Frazier reads from his second book, Thirteen Moons. The Dan Brown of Civil War-era fiction, people either love him or hate him; Time calls it simply "Genius" but the Washington Post has low hopes for his second work, which is "like sitting by the cracker barrel for hour after hour and listening to an amiable but impossibly gassy guy who talks real slow, says "I reckon" a whole lot and never shuts up." Free, but tickets must be obtained in advance at Elliot Bay (2 max per person).

Saturday, December 9
>>>Elliot Bay Books, 2pm. If you missed Elizabeth Kolbert at Benyaroya this week, fear not as the other "It" book on climate change makes the EBB rounds. Author and atmospheric researcher Robert Henson sent a copy of The Rough Guide to Climate Change to every MP in Britain; because, you know, those Brits are so much more reasonable than we are. Free, but your grandchildren will foot the bill if we don't cut this CO2 emissions shit out.

Sunday, December 10
>>>Seattle Central Library, 2pm. The Library is celebrating 10 years of poetry inspired by buses in Seattle with readings from "Poetry on the Buses: An Anthology of Poetry on Wheels 1995-2005." We once wrote a haiku about our bus commute to work but it consisted mostly of swearing. Free, but if you get your copy signed make sure it was by one of the poets, and not the homeless guy who recites passages from Lord of the Flies on the 48.

Monday, December 11
>>>Third Place Books, 7pm. Culinary man-about-town Greg Atkinson--who consults with local restaurants such as Canlis to help them "revitalize" their menus--reads from his new cookbook, West Coast Cooking. Free as long as you promise not to drool on anything.

Tuesday, December 12
>>>Elliot Bay Books, 7:30pm. Oh, Moe! Local author and most decidedly not disembodied KUOW raconteur, John Moe, will read from his new book "Conservatize Me." He will be joined by Defective Yeti rabble rouser Matt Baldwin, creating a vortex of funny that will swallow Seattle whole. Free, but you'll have to rumble with Seattlest for the good seats.