Ron Fairly is not a good baseball announcer. He repeats himself, his commentary is full of non-sequiturs ("if that ball were hit a little higher, it would've been a home run!"), he can't actually do play-by-play at all...we've poked fun at him before.

Fairly's verbal bobbles are legendary--here's a compendium.

But when we heard yesterday afternoon that Red's retiring at the end of the season, we were very, very sad.

The guy's been a Mariner announcer for 14 seasons(!). We let his voice into our first apartment, our first car, our first girlfriend's car, the first car we owned with the girlfriend, and, later, our second car, on the way to therapy. Though we're not sure we like him, we're still going to miss him.

Some of our memorable Fairly calls/moments, are after the jump. We'd love to hear some of yours.

• 9/22/95 vs. Oakland. Vince Coleman comes up with the bases loaded and the M's down 6-2. Rick Rizzs notes that Coleman hasn't hit a home run as a Mariner. Fairly's comment? "He's about due." Next pitch, Coleman hits a grand slam. Rick Rizzs, who gets excited about three-hoppers to second, absolutely loses his mind, makes this long, screaming call of the play. Long pause. Fairly says, "are you ok?" Rizzs, his voice spent, response with an excited, "Noooo!" (This is on the M's '95 cd)
• Some random spring training game a few years ago. It got really boring, so Fairly just started telling old stories and bad jokes, including the time Dodger manager Walter Alston called a minor leaguer into the dugout during a spring training game to stir a pot of chili Alston was cooking, and the old joke about the construction workers who didn't like a guy loafing around because of "professional jealousy." This punchline tied Fairly in knots, he kept repeating it and laughing and repeating it and laughing and we imagined him turning bright red and nearly toppling over in his chair.
• This one time some guy hit a huge pop fly, and Fairly, reminiscing about his playing days, says "You know you're out when you hit the ball in the air and nine guys call for it."