Don't Run People Over

Okay, lessee… If we Seattle drivers were to imagine ourselves plowing into pedestrians, we’d be convinced to drive carefully? Or, conversely, are we being asked to imagine that the “impact” of our careful driving would be a decrease in pedestrian injuries?

Either way, the message here is obvious -- “Don’t run people over” -- though the phrasing of this double-entendre is a Zen-like conundrum, along the lines of the sound of one hand clapping in the forest. And, though its intentions are good -- few things anger (or maim) responsible pedestrians more than being ignored by irresponsible drivers -- its effect is comical. Like, if the impact we’d make is anything like the image on the sign, it’d be hilarious!

Here we see a pair of panicked pedestrians, frantically ducking for cover beyond the borders of the familiar pentagonal caution sign, books flying in all directions. Over the summer these new giggle-inducing signs sprung up in 16 pedestrian-dense areas around town. Combined with a dozen similar billboards and some cheesy PSAs they’re all part of Mayor Nickels’ recent Ten-Point Plan for Pedestrian Safety. Apparently Hizzonner has a sense of humor.

Now, while we in no way condone vandalism, we also cannot help but appreciate clever alterations of such signs. Consider such crosswalk classics as STOP FOR ME, IT’S THE CLAW (adding both a “C” to “LAW,” and a pair of pincers to the stick figure’s hand), or SENIOR BOXING (adding both a “BO” to “XING,” and a pair of Everlasts to the oldster’s mitts).

These new signs also cry out for some wiseass to enhance them with additional semiotic silliness. Should you, dear readers, spot any such alterations, we’d love to see ‘em.