Fast Food - Not Quite

Seattle is slathered with great local burger chains, what with Dick’s, Kidd Valley, and Red Mill, but our favorite is the mighty Burgermaster -- particularly the one just east of (but worlds away from) upscale University Village. This underrated institution has mastered the burger since it opened as a drive-in in 1953, and later, expanding into an eat-in restaurant. But why no link? The ‘Master is apparently too busy serving up consistently decent, no-frills fare to bother posting its own web site. That’s fine with us.

The signature item is, of course, the Burgermaster. Sure, it’s just a hamburger with the standard fixins, but we dig it. Variations include the Baconmaster, Chickenmaster, and Turkeymaster. What they should’ve called the Weinermaster is actually the lame “Husky Pup” -- two fried dogs, bisected lengthwise and stuck in a hamburger bun. Still, the menu ventures beyond typical burger-joint fare; among other selections are spaghetti, pot roast, and salad bar. For those unfamiliar with salad bars, a helpful sign explains “How to use the salad bar” -- it’s a three-step process.

Other signs, many in all-caps with multiple explanation points, convey such messages as “Please keep your child from running through the dining room,” and “Burgers are served in foilwrap which can be used as a folder for tidy munching.” Our favorite, which until recently was posted at front counter, said something like “Do not seat your child on the counter for health reasons.”

This unpretentious charm extends to the kitchen staff, clad in white hats and red neckerchiefs, the soft rock on the PA, and the backlit, color-faded photos of various menu items. The place hasn’t updated its presentation at least since we first started going there in the early ‘70s, following annual visits to our pediatrician on Sandpoint Way.

Burgermaster opens early with a wide selection of breakfast items (featuring the Muffinmaster), and the joint is usually jumping by dinnertime. It doesn’t draw the typical U-Village crowd so much as seniors, tee-ball teams, pre- and post-game Husky fans, and Huskies themselves -- a few years ago we witnessed legendary UW QB Sonny Sixkiller enjoying dinner with his family. We also might’ve liberated a plastic yellow food tray embossed with the no-nonsense BM logo: a symmetrical line drawing of a longhorn’s head, whose white-neon likeness also beckons drivers along NE 45th.

Burgermaster has drive-ins on Aurora, along the 520 in Bellevue, and in Mill Creek. A new Everett location, the only other one with an indoor dining room, opened earlier this year. That’s great if you happen to be in those areas, but for us, the U-Village Burgermaster keeps us a burgerslave. We’ll keep our child from running through the dining room.